Seeing Longing with New Eyes

The voyage of discovery is not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes.  - Marcel Proust

After my post about longing I thought I needed to explore it a bit deeper.  I decided to go to Webster and get a clear definition.

Definition of LONGING
long·ing noun \ˈlȯŋ-iŋ\
: a strong desire especially for something unattainable : craving
— long·ing·ly  adverb

Yes, that is it.  Longing is about a deep sense of hoping for the unattainable.  Wishing, hoping, wanting something so deeply, but never believing it could truly be yours.  Years ago I remember sitting with my niece at Borders bookstore looking at magazines.  We would pore through art and home design magazines and fantasize about art projects and redoing our homes.  While we were at the bookstore it felt like so much fun and I would get so inspired!  But then, on my way home and beyond, I would be over taken by this feeling of disappointment, sadness and longing. Other times I would go home and try to recreate the art project or figure out how I could make the great interior design look on the cheap.  Somehow that seemed like settling or making do, which didn't feel good either, and didn't fill that desire of my longing.  (Funny, I know people who have blogs that are just that - the person blogs about taking some expensive idea and then recreating it with low costs finds. That is certainly a different energy than I am talking about.)  For decades, since my first marriage in 1974 I have been taking found or recycled items and turning them into something usable.  For the longest time I thought I was doing it because it felt creative - but honestly it was because there was never enough money to get what I really wanted, so I did the best I could.  I must say I am really tired of that!  And that doesn't feel like inspired creativity anymore, but more like settling.  This make-do, longing mentality has followed me into many areas of my life.  It has become a reality that I am ready to let go of - big time!

This longing, dreaming about what seems impossible isn't healthy - it is creating a fantasy.  The fantasy becomes separate, outside myself - unattainable.  This kind of thinking really puts a big crimp in the prosperity consciousness required for working the law of attraction!  My niece calls this "fantasy meets reality".  So it boils down to that - dreams are really just fantasies, and reality just becomes disappointing.  Now that is a thinking process that is not going to create much happiness or abundance!

The truth is, I am actually a very positive person with a pretty good outlook on life.  But there is this longing part of me that has been with me as long as I can remember.  I remember as a child creating a fantasy world in my head to escape from my life.  There were times when I was a kid that I would sometimes  just get lost in the fantasy.  As I got older, I saw the "fantasy building" as my creative spirit just needing to exercise itself.  But now, as I am working on this Body Belief project and learning to change my thoughts in order to change my life, I see it as counter to my needs and very unproductive!.  When I try to visualize something really coming into my life, it gets washed away by that old habit of the fantasy escape.  I don't want my new dreams to escape into fantasy.  I want them to manifest into reality!

As a fat person, I always longed to be thin.  That longing felt like something that I could never possess. Even when I reached a state of "thin" it wasn't wired into my mind that it could be maintained, that I could be a thin person- because it was always just a fantasy.  It was part of my "fat operating system".

It is time I believe in the possibilities, a new paradigm.  One where fantasy becomes reality!  Longing is just another form of low vibration energy.  For me it is based in fear and lack.  It's time I let go of longing, think broader, dream bigger and BELIEVE!