Get off the scale! I have yet to see a scale that can tell you how enchanting your eyes are. I have yet to see a scale that can show you how wonderful your hair looks when the sun shines its glorious rays on it. I have yet to see a scale that can thank you for your compassion, sense of humor, and contagious smile. Get off the scale because I have yet to see one that can admire you for your perseverance when challenged in life. ― Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free
What's also a killer is the elusive “goal weight”. Everyone who has ever dieted knows about that. The magic number on the scale that if and when you ever make it - you will have reached your goal and found the holy grail - THIN. The point that makes this crazy - it is never about how the body feels, it's about the number. I remember when I lost all that weight years ago and my Doc said I didn’t need to lose anymore. He told me my BMI was perfect, my weight was well in the normal range and I was in excellent health. I looked at him like he was crazy. I needed to lose 8 more pounds to be at my “goal weight”. I had completely disconnected from my body and was chasing a number on the scale that I arbitrarily thought would mean I was thin. I honestly never felt or ever thought of myself as being thin. I could not accept that. And I never did lose those last eight pounds - I never made it to THIN.
It’s also a sad state when I can remember every major event of my life by how much I weighed at the time. When I was married the first time I weighed 162 pounds. The day I delivered my daughter, nine months pregnant, I weighed 211, in 6th grade, when we had our yearly weight and height taken I weighed 123 (I can remember that day clearly, like it was yesterday). Never do I round these numbers up or down. I know exactly what I weighed. I’ve got dozens of memories attached to my body weight. What’s that about? Plus, I know I am not alone in this, I’ve heard many other women tell similar weight memory stories. What kind of misguided self-identification is that? Our lives are so much more than a number on a scale. There should be some more meaningful marker of those times in our lives.
That is why giving up the scale is part of the first phase of Body Belief. What would happen if we all just stopped weighing ourselves? This obsession with the scale is part of the Fat Operating System that holds us in the never ending cycle of self-disapproval, disconnection from our bodies and the merry-go-round of dieting.
It is time to stop weighing and start paying attention to how our bodies feel. We need to stop setting a number goal to determine how we feel. We need to start paying attention to things like how we can move our body, how our clothes fit, and if our bodies feel light or heavy from inside our skin - not from looking at a dial on a piece of metal. It might feel like breaking up with a good friend, but it’s not. It’s more like letting go of a dysfunction, co-dependent relationship. Give it a try!
Insanity: Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. - John Dryden
Last Friday on ABC's 20/20 they aired a special on weight loss, particularly people who have lost lots of weight (half their body weight). During one of the segments they discussed the statistics about weight loss success. I have heard and read this many times before, but it always gets to me when I hear it again. Here it is - 95% of all people who lose weight on diets gain it back within two years! Think of that! Ninety-five percent of all people who lose weight dieting gain it back. I know you can do math - but that means only 5% of people lose weight with a diet and keep it off!
 |
| Diet Cruise Line |
That is a flabbergasting statistic! It's ridiculous. Who in their right mind would go on a diet if the verified results are a 95% failure rate? Think about that - if you were going on vacation and decided to take a cruise and the cruise line told you that 95% of their ships sink would you buy tickets? Or would you book a flight with an airline that had a record of 95% of their planes crashing? That is insanity! But every day, people everywhere are starting a diet or eating plan to lose weight knowing that the failure rate is 95%. We all hope we will be one of that 5%. How has that percentage worked out in your life?
For me, I was one of the 5%. I lost over 160 pounds and kept it off for over 4+ years. I was elated, I thought I had it licked. When my first granddaughter was born I was so happy she would never know me as a fat person. It was a whole new life - a whole new me. Surprise! Today she is 9 years old and I am now a fat grandma. I have gained back over 100 pounds. Here I am out of the 5% and again a member of the dreaded 95%!
What is the answer? Well, I can tell you one thing, it is not a diet! The greatest insight I had in the process of losing 160 pounds and then gaining 100 back, is that it is not about the food, diet plan or exercise routine. It is much deeper than that. Sure, I ate healthy and exercised to lose all that weight. But, the entire time I never changed the most important thing I needed to change and that was my thinking. Never did I ever feel "thin", there was always some part of my body that I felt was still fat, or looked bad. I was totally focused on a number - if the number on the scale read "the" number than I had reached my goal and made it to "thin". I never reached that number, so I never felt like I was a real success. Crazy, right? Sure, that's because in my mind I was still a fat person in a thin body. I never gave up my fat mentality! I never changed my belief system. And that is the key!
Forget about the 95%, ditch the diets and the mentality that created it! Body Belief is about creating a new paradigm - a new belief system. That's what I am doing. I know it's hard to give up that familiar old pattern. Buying into the craziness of the hope of the 5%. But let it go and make a bigger, deeper change. Start by stopping. Stop doing everything you've always done and try something new! Go in a drastic new direction! Shake it all up!
Instead of thinking about starting a diet, join a dance class instead or go to a Meet-up group about foreign films. Instead of weighing yourself, throw the scale away and write "You are BEAUTIFUL exactly as you are!" on your bathroom mirror with lipstick! The next time you look at some type of food and immediately think "oh I can't eat that - it's fattening" leave the store (or restaurant) and go to the florist or garden center and buy yourself some flowers or better yet, say to yourself "Yes, I can eat that!" and have a big old helping THEN go buy yourself some flowers! Do anything to get yourself out of the old rut of the diet mentality. There is a saying from Henry Ford that fits perfectly here, so listen up.
"If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got." Henry Ford (1863-1947), American founder of the Ford Motor Company
And that folks, is being part of the 95%! Are you ready for a change?
