Thigh Gap - The New Mis-Measure of Teens

The TRUTH about Thigh Gaps

Have you heard about the "thigh gap"?  It's the latest obsession with teens.

Tonight, by chance, I saw a segment on the news about this topic.  It seems to be the latest trend in teen girls and it is filling Tumblr, Facebook and Twitter with pictures and posts about how to get them.  Just when I thought it was impossible to have some other ridiculous and unhealthy body image gimmick, along comes thigh gap!

Teen girls want to have a space between their thighs, and the wider the better.  I did a quick internet search and there were over 7 million matches.  There are thigh gap blogs, challenges, exercises on how to get it, photos, your name it.  Thigh gaps are hot.  How can that be? It doesn't seem natural and seems nearly impossible to obtain.  The picture above describes it as a bone structure issue, not something you can achieve through exercise or diet.

The picture on the right is one I found on the internet with a caption that read "An example of an envy inducing thigh gap." What?  Shocking! This girl looks like she is starving and malnourished,  not someone to be envied.  She almost looks deformed.  And this is something to strive for in the name of beauty?  Things are going very wrong in our society!  What is happening to our girls!

Honestly, I was nearly speechless when I heard the report.  After decades of awareness about eating disorders and the media distortion of body image, I would like to believe that we have advanced in that area.  But, this just proves to me that we are seeing another generation of women who are growing up at war with their bodies.  Focused and obsessed with their body image, equating it to their value.  This has to stop!

This motivates me further to keep writing my book and looking at this issue in a whole new way!  Body Belief - it's all about reconnecting with our innate body wisdom NOT some crazy unrealistic body shape.  This is just insane!

If you want to find out more -  watch the news story on ABC.

What do you think about this latest trend.  I would to hear your opinions.  Just leave a comment.

"Looks aren't Everything. Believe me, I'm a Model"

     This is Cameron Russell.  She is a Victoria's Secret model. She also models for all the top designers. She has walked runways all over the world and has been modeling since she was 16 years old - ten years ago.  She has an interesting story to tell.  When she was a young girl she was interested in politics and even had the opportunity to meet Bill Clinton when he was out on the campaign trail.  Then she had a different vision for her life. But as fate would have it, she chose another path, or the another path chose her.  Take a look at her TEDTalk.  She bravely tells her truth about what it means to be a super model and how she really feels about her beauty and the business.

     Stop Playing The Game! is the title of chapter one in my upcoming book Body Belief.   In this chapter I am trying to get people to let go of the outward definition of beauty and really get in touch with something much deeper.  This talk fits in exactly with my thoughts.  We have to end our fixation with external beauty and learn to to see ourselves as more - we are mighty souls having a human experience! We keep forgetting that and instead get caught up in the unrealistic expectations put upon us by this very industry that Cameron is a model for.  They don't see her as a person, she is a live mannequin.  It is refreshing to see her speak, sharing her story, stepping away from runway and being the real person she is! Very cool!

"Looks aren't Everything. Believe me, I'm a Model"

TEDTalk TEDx Mid-Atlantic: Cameron Russell admits she won "a genetic lottery": she's tall, pretty and an underwear model. But don't judge her by her looks. In this fearless talk, she takes a wry look at the industry that had her looking highly seductive at barely 16-years-old. 

Listen to Your Body! Celebrate Your Nature

The beauty and wisdom of our bodies is real!  Just as real as the flowers that are budding in the springtime sun!  Or the birds building their nests in the tops of bare trees, preparing for new life.   We are part of that.  Our bodies are the perfection of this amazing cycle of nature, we are nature in it's most magnificent form!  Celebrate it!

Body Belief is about connecting with that true nature.  But, in order to get there we have to stop hating our bodies.  Let go of all the outward fixes, like crazy diets and extreme exercise. Re-connecting to your perfect nature, is about turning within and getting in touch with the inner wisdom you were born with.  It's there, waiting for you!

Today I read a blog post from BodyFoodLove that I have to share.  Sarah has written a wonderful body-love mantra that we should all memorize and repeat daily!  Read the rest of her post here.

I LOVE me.
I EMBRACE me.
I LOVE my body.
I EMBRACE my body.

Your body is your instrument.
Your body is your spiritual guide.
Treasure it always ♥

Thanks Sarah for a beautiful post and mantra!

The Truth About Love

In today's email I received a newsletter from Chris Zydel.  The teacher of the Painting from the Wild Heart retreat I am going to this September in New Mexico. (I'm sooooo excited!)  She wrote a beautiful poem I want to share with you.

It speaks to me, because it shares the essence of my feelings about my work with Body Belief.  Body Belief is the journey to this place she writes - the perfect embodiment of love inside each of us to express here on earth!  If we were to embrace that fully, letting go of the judgement, criticism and shame we carry in our bodies - what astounding miracles could unfold.   I am going to print this poem and place it on the wall above my writing space so I can be reminded of this truth!  May I write from this belief and hold love in my being with every word!  Thank you Chris!!

The Truth About Love
By Chris Zydel


You are a prayer
Your presence a blessing
Your body a thing of beauty
The very fact that you even exist
A miracle beyond measure

Take a moment
Right here
Right now
To remember that you know how
You have ALWAYS known how

To breathe in the light
To exhale the stars
To dance wildly on mountaintops
To stretch your heart around the world
To be a raging river of mercy

Let this holy truth
Pump and pulse
Through every vein and artery and capillary
Of your sweet body

You are love
Only love
Endless love
Unceasing love
Forever love

You
Yes you
Unmistakably
Undeniably 
You
Are the gorgeous, blessed, dazzling sacred heart of love

The Power of the Mighty SCALE!

Get off the scale! I have yet to see a scale that can tell you how enchanting your eyes are. I have yet to see a scale that can show you how wonderful your hair looks when the sun shines its glorious rays on it. I have yet to see a scale that can thank you for your compassion, sense of humor, and contagious smile. Get off the scale because I have yet to see one that can admire you for your perseverance when challenged in life. ― Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free

When I think of my relationship to the bathroom scale it casts a shadow over my heart.  No matter how I approach it, the scale has always been my nemesis.  It has the power to change my entire attitude about myself, and forecast my mood for the day.  Oh sure, there have been times when I was dieting and losing weight that I loved the scale.  But there have been many more times that I have been dieting and feeling good - feeling lighter and I stepped on it and the number wasn’t agreeing.  There is nothing worse than strictly adhering to a diet, doing the weekly workouts, knowing I was doing everything right, then getting on the scale and gaining half a pound!  That is a killer.

What's also a killer is the elusive “goal weight”.  Everyone who has ever dieted knows about that.  The magic number on the scale that if and when you ever make it - you will have reached your goal and found the holy grail - THIN.  The point that makes this crazy - it is never about how the body feels, it's about the number.  I remember when I lost all that weight years ago and my Doc said I didn’t need to lose anymore.  He told me my BMI was perfect, my weight was well in the normal range and I was in excellent health.  I looked at him like he was crazy.  I needed to lose 8 more pounds to be at my “goal weight”.  I had completely disconnected from my body and was chasing a number on the scale that I arbitrarily thought would mean I was thin.  I honestly never felt or ever thought of myself as being thin. I could not accept that.  And I never did lose those last eight pounds - I never made it to THIN. 

It’s also a sad state when I can remember every major event of my life by how much I weighed at the time.  When I was married the first time I weighed 162 pounds.  The day I delivered my daughter, nine months pregnant, I weighed 211, in 6th grade, when we had our yearly weight and height taken I weighed 123 (I can remember that day clearly, like it was yesterday).  Never do I round these numbers up or down.  I know exactly what I weighed.  I’ve got dozens of memories attached to my body weight.  What’s that about?  Plus, I know I am not alone in this, I’ve heard many other women tell similar weight memory stories. What kind of misguided self-identification is that?  Our lives are so much more than a number on a scale. There should be some more meaningful marker of those times in our lives.

That is why giving up the scale is part of the first phase of Body Belief.  What would happen if we all just stopped weighing ourselves?  This obsession with the scale is part of the Fat Operating System that holds us in the never ending cycle of self-disapproval, disconnection from our bodies and the merry-go-round of dieting.  

It is time to stop weighing and start paying attention to how our bodies feel.  We need to stop setting a number goal to determine how we feel.  We need to start paying attention to things like how we can move our body, how our clothes fit, and  if our bodies feel light or heavy from inside our skin - not from looking at a dial on a piece of metal.  It might feel like breaking up with a good friend, but it’s not.  It’s more like letting go of a dysfunction, co-dependent relationship.  Give it a try!

The Energy of Longing

You don't get what you want, you get what your vibrate. - Michael Losier

One of the big principals I am working on (and have been for a long time) is the Law of Attraction (LOA).  Lately I have had some insights that seem to be hitting me over the head.  There are a couple of teachers I have become attracted to lately - Danielle LaPort and Lynn Grabhorn. The theme of the over-the-head-hitting and the teachings of Danielle and Lynn is connecting the reality that what is in my life at this moment is a result of the "feeling" vibrations I have been sending out into the Universe.  This is a distinction of the LOA that I have learned but didn't truly understand until recently.

Over the years I have learned this truth about the LOA:  Your thoughts create images, those images evoke feeling, your feeling create energy, that energy is a vibration that goes into the world to find "like" vibrations.  So you get what you think about.  Right?  Right!  But there is something deeper that I have been missing and that is the word feeling.  Feelings are what really stimulate the energy that creates the vibration that goes out into the world.  The thought begins the process, but the feeling is the power.  It is how your thoughts make you feel that determines the eventual outcome.  This is huge when it comes to the Body Belief issues. Huge!

The other day this crystalized in my brain during a moment of feelings clarity!  I was day dreaming about clothes.  In a magazine I saw this really cute outfit and I started thinking about how I would love to wear that style.  At first it felt good - I was getting motivated about losing weight and getting healthy and wearing that outfit and feeling fantastic.  But, within seconds, the feeling shifted.  It turned into a feeling of longing, longing for something I saw as impossible or so far away that it made me sad and I began to feel less than.  My thought shifted to how fat I am now and how I remembered after losing weight how fun it was to wear clothes in a small size.  The sense of longing took on a life of its own and I realized that what I was feeling was not going to create the life I really wanted.  The way I was feeling was going to continue  to create the life I already had.  One of being fat and feeling "less than", on the outside looking in.  A very low vibration.

It was during this experience that I clearly saw how longing is a very negative emotion for me. (For anyone, actually.) And more importantly, I saw the connection between thoughts - images - feelings - energy - vibration.  And, if I want to change my life, I have to change my feelings.  I don't need to go another diet - I need to get in touch with what feelings my thoughts create.  Very powerful.  It has been helping me pay better attention to where my mind wanders and I can recognize when I need to do a vibration alignment much more quickly!  This understanding of longing was a important insight for me, and I will have to mull it over for a while!  More to follow.

Awakening to the Secret Code of Your Mind

Through the flow of synchronicity yesterday I came across a book by Darren R. Weissman called Awakening to the Secret Code of Your Mind.  This morning I started reading it and already know that it is going to be on the top 10 list of those books that I am going to recall, quote and recommend, and I am only on the first chapter.

It starts with a quote from another of my top 10 authors, Gregg Braden.

". . . . we live in an interactive reality where we change the world around us by changing what happens inside of us while we're watching--that is, our thoughts, feelings, and beliefs . .  . From the healing of disease, to the length of our lives, to the success of our careers and relationships, everything that we experience as 'life' is directly linked to what we believe." 

This book explores the concepts of beliefs and how they shape our current reality - and that has been a study area of mine for years.  In 2007 I began working on a book and workshop format called Body Belief - exploring our relationship between our thoughts (and beliefs) and our physical body and what stops us from connecting with our innate body wisdom.  Recently I have begun working on and updating this project, I just can't let it go.  And I know this book has come to me at this time to support me in this process. 

Weissman writes, "When you find yourself stuck in a pattern--repeatedly reacting to a life experience in a negative or painful way-- it's a sign that the energy moving you is motivated by survival and protection rather than your present circumstances.  The LifeLine Law of Transformation and Creation states: Emotions transform energy; energy creates movement; movement is change; and change is the essence of life.  More than the fear of death, it's the fear of change that keeps people stuck in a cycle of self-destruction and self-defeat.  When you're able to embrace change, follow your heart, and go with the flow, you're emotionally flowing through life, and life is emotionally flowing through you."

And, the biggest thing that keeps us stuck in the old pattern - our beliefs.  Can't wait to read more and uncover and discover more about getting unstuck!

In the spirit of change, Cindy