Dreams--Are You Living Yours?

"Dreams can come true...if we have the courage to pursue them." ~ Walt Disney

Over the past couple of days I have heard some things that have caused me to look differently at my life. The subject -- following your dreams.

First, a good friend had the courage to talk honestly with me and helped me recognized that I am the one standing in the way of my dreams.  Talking to her enabled me to see clearly that I am using excuses as a shield and these excuses have turned into road blocks (maybe even walls).  

Secondly, I listened to a community call with Patricia Moreno from Sati Life.com and she talked about living your dreams--shouting them out loud - saying YES to them - living an inspired life.  While listening to the call I had the same feeling I had earlier talking to my friend--an awakening to the truth.  It became crystal clear to me that I am afraid to go after my dreams!

How is it possible that I am afraid of my dreams?  Has that ever happened to you?  I see what I want in my mind and internally it rings true - it feels like this dream will make my heart sing--yet I am not willing to do what it takes to really go for it.  Staying stuck seems so much safer than taking a risk.  Not upsetting the apple cart of my life routine seems like the best choice.

Then, I question it.  Is this really my dream?  Who knows if this dream is worth it.  I’ve tried so many paths before and they didn’t really make me happy.  Why can’t I be satisfied with the status quo.   But something keeps pulling me . . . this feeling deep inside that there is more for me to do.  It is like a magnetic force - always tugging at me, keeping me longing to follow my heart . . . my dreams.

Ultimately it takes courage and staying stuck is safe.  Taking risks, exposing yourself to failure or success are big fears, and change is walking into the unknown.  I have a lot to think about -- wonder what I'll do?

Are you following your dreams?  Tell me about it.

Are You a People Pleaser?

“I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is to try to please everyone.” – Bill Cosby

My name is Cindy, and I am a people pleaser.

Being a “nice person” was what I thought I was being --but it turns out I am a recovering people pleaser.  (And new to recovery at that.)  It’s still hard for me to admit and even harder to recognize when I’m doing it.  It turns out that I have been at it practically since I was born.

The key, I have learned, is to be outwardly focused to the exclusion of your own needs.  To always say “yes” even if you want to say “no”.  Not knowing how to set a boundary or to stand up for your own needs. (Or even knowing you have needs!) Oh, and don’t forget - always do it yourself, never ask for help.  Help others, but don’t ask for help in return.   Knowing that in some way saying yes, helping others, ignoring your own needs will bring you the love and acceptance you were desperatley  looking for -- but now the habit is ingrained and you have totally forgotten how it all started.  And love and acceptance is no where to be found.

People pleasing on auto-pilot.  Never a great place to be stuck.  It came to me recently that I was more interested in not hurting other people’s feeling than doing what was best for me.  I could suffer so the other person was happy, meanwhile I was unhappy, resentful and angry. Geez, how long had I been doing this?  For a long time.

Thankfully, I have some very caring and supportive people in my life that are open to me practicing setting boundaries and putting my needs first.  It’s an eye opening and interesting experience for me.  It is like learning a new language.  It takes looking inward and checking in with my feelings, desires and needs --a pretty foreign concept.  But, I’m in it for the long haul -- and this recovery, it looks and feels like healing to me!

Are you a People Pleaser?  How is it working out in your life? Tell me about it.