Thigh Gap - The New Mis-Measure of Teens

The TRUTH about Thigh Gaps

Have you heard about the "thigh gap"?  It's the latest obsession with teens.

Tonight, by chance, I saw a segment on the news about this topic.  It seems to be the latest trend in teen girls and it is filling Tumblr, Facebook and Twitter with pictures and posts about how to get them.  Just when I thought it was impossible to have some other ridiculous and unhealthy body image gimmick, along comes thigh gap!

Teen girls want to have a space between their thighs, and the wider the better.  I did a quick internet search and there were over 7 million matches.  There are thigh gap blogs, challenges, exercises on how to get it, photos, your name it.  Thigh gaps are hot.  How can that be? It doesn't seem natural and seems nearly impossible to obtain.  The picture above describes it as a bone structure issue, not something you can achieve through exercise or diet.

The picture on the right is one I found on the internet with a caption that read "An example of an envy inducing thigh gap." What?  Shocking! This girl looks like she is starving and malnourished,  not someone to be envied.  She almost looks deformed.  And this is something to strive for in the name of beauty?  Things are going very wrong in our society!  What is happening to our girls!

Honestly, I was nearly speechless when I heard the report.  After decades of awareness about eating disorders and the media distortion of body image, I would like to believe that we have advanced in that area.  But, this just proves to me that we are seeing another generation of women who are growing up at war with their bodies.  Focused and obsessed with their body image, equating it to their value.  This has to stop!

This motivates me further to keep writing my book and looking at this issue in a whole new way!  Body Belief - it's all about reconnecting with our innate body wisdom NOT some crazy unrealistic body shape.  This is just insane!

If you want to find out more -  watch the news story on ABC.

What do you think about this latest trend.  I would to hear your opinions.  Just leave a comment.

"Looks aren't Everything. Believe me, I'm a Model"

     This is Cameron Russell.  She is a Victoria's Secret model. She also models for all the top designers. She has walked runways all over the world and has been modeling since she was 16 years old - ten years ago.  She has an interesting story to tell.  When she was a young girl she was interested in politics and even had the opportunity to meet Bill Clinton when he was out on the campaign trail.  Then she had a different vision for her life. But as fate would have it, she chose another path, or the another path chose her.  Take a look at her TEDTalk.  She bravely tells her truth about what it means to be a super model and how she really feels about her beauty and the business.

     Stop Playing The Game! is the title of chapter one in my upcoming book Body Belief.   In this chapter I am trying to get people to let go of the outward definition of beauty and really get in touch with something much deeper.  This talk fits in exactly with my thoughts.  We have to end our fixation with external beauty and learn to to see ourselves as more - we are mighty souls having a human experience! We keep forgetting that and instead get caught up in the unrealistic expectations put upon us by this very industry that Cameron is a model for.  They don't see her as a person, she is a live mannequin.  It is refreshing to see her speak, sharing her story, stepping away from runway and being the real person she is! Very cool!

"Looks aren't Everything. Believe me, I'm a Model"

TEDTalk TEDx Mid-Atlantic: Cameron Russell admits she won "a genetic lottery": she's tall, pretty and an underwear model. But don't judge her by her looks. In this fearless talk, she takes a wry look at the industry that had her looking highly seductive at barely 16-years-old. 

Listen to Your Body! Celebrate Your Nature

The beauty and wisdom of our bodies is real!  Just as real as the flowers that are budding in the springtime sun!  Or the birds building their nests in the tops of bare trees, preparing for new life.   We are part of that.  Our bodies are the perfection of this amazing cycle of nature, we are nature in it's most magnificent form!  Celebrate it!

Body Belief is about connecting with that true nature.  But, in order to get there we have to stop hating our bodies.  Let go of all the outward fixes, like crazy diets and extreme exercise. Re-connecting to your perfect nature, is about turning within and getting in touch with the inner wisdom you were born with.  It's there, waiting for you!

Today I read a blog post from BodyFoodLove that I have to share.  Sarah has written a wonderful body-love mantra that we should all memorize and repeat daily!  Read the rest of her post here.

I LOVE me.
I EMBRACE me.
I LOVE my body.
I EMBRACE my body.

Your body is your instrument.
Your body is your spiritual guide.
Treasure it always ♥

Thanks Sarah for a beautiful post and mantra!

The Truth About Love

In today's email I received a newsletter from Chris Zydel.  The teacher of the Painting from the Wild Heart retreat I am going to this September in New Mexico. (I'm sooooo excited!)  She wrote a beautiful poem I want to share with you.

It speaks to me, because it shares the essence of my feelings about my work with Body Belief.  Body Belief is the journey to this place she writes - the perfect embodiment of love inside each of us to express here on earth!  If we were to embrace that fully, letting go of the judgement, criticism and shame we carry in our bodies - what astounding miracles could unfold.   I am going to print this poem and place it on the wall above my writing space so I can be reminded of this truth!  May I write from this belief and hold love in my being with every word!  Thank you Chris!!

The Truth About Love
By Chris Zydel


You are a prayer
Your presence a blessing
Your body a thing of beauty
The very fact that you even exist
A miracle beyond measure

Take a moment
Right here
Right now
To remember that you know how
You have ALWAYS known how

To breathe in the light
To exhale the stars
To dance wildly on mountaintops
To stretch your heart around the world
To be a raging river of mercy

Let this holy truth
Pump and pulse
Through every vein and artery and capillary
Of your sweet body

You are love
Only love
Endless love
Unceasing love
Forever love

You
Yes you
Unmistakably
Undeniably 
You
Are the gorgeous, blessed, dazzling sacred heart of love

Move your Body - Calm Your Mind

“An active mind cannot rest in an inactive body.”

Learning to move my body for the sake of feeling better and helping my entire body function better is such a different thing then exercising to help me lose weight.  It comes from a different place, a place of choice.  When I used to commit to exercise for losing weight I resisted like crazy!  It seemed like punishment.  I had to force myself to do it. Of course, I always felt better afterwards, but it was painful getting to that point!

When I read the quote above it really resonated with me.  I do have a very active mind and I never thought about exercise as a way of counteracting that.  But it makes so much sense.  Through physical exertion it changes the chemistry of the body and promotes physical functions that I probably will never fully understand.  But it makes sense, and it is motivating me in a healthier way.

Since I started moving to ease my busy mind, I have felt much better.  Plus it has been much easier to ease into exercising.  On the other side of the coin,  I have also learned that resting helps ease my busy mind as well.  Taking time to sit quietly and meditate or take an afternoon nap is an important balance I need.

It’s all about motivation - what is it that can propel me to get up and move my body or take an afternoon nap?  At this moment it is knowing that it helps me on an emotional level - to feel more at peace in my head.  The old way stopped working a long time ago.  To many years of forcing myself to do exercises that I didn’t enjoy.  Now I haven’t put any rules about how I exercise - no schedule, no self-inflicted time limits or expected heart rate or repetitions.  It’s just go about moving because it’s good for me.  And that’s reason enough.

What motivates you to get your body moving?  

The War on Obesity

While doing research for Body Belief  I ran across an alarming statistic. 

Almost half of American children between 1st - 3rd grade want to be thinner and half of 9-10 year old girls are dieting. 

That was shocking to me.  Being that I am the grandmother to two girls in that age range it really made me grateful that mine are part of the other half!  But, what an alarming statistic.  How many of their classmates are dieting and worried about being thinner.  What is going to happen with a generation of girls already fixated on their body image and weight issues.  You would think that we would have learned more by now, that things would be different.  

But, how could it be different.  We are a body image and weight obsessed culture.  The diet industry earns multi billions every year and like any industry it needs to keep the engine running.   The focus on obesity with adults and children is on the news every day.  Even the First Lady has taken it on has her cause.  In the same article I read the first statistic, they also reported that childhood obesity has tripled since the 80's when America first called out its "War Against Obesity".  Did we not learn anything from the "War on Drugs" campaign started by Nancy Reagan?

My fear is the "War Against Obesity" will end the same way - more obese people than every!  And more and more people pre-occupied with their body, weight and food.  It has been my experience that the more I dieted the fatter I got!.  With our country’s focus on the two extremes of this issue (unrealistic thinness and obesity) we are bound to lose our young girls to eating disorders and life long struggles with body image.  That has got to change!!

It reminds me of the Mother Teresa quote from the Vietnam era. When she was asked to march against the war Teresa replied:  “If you have a march against the war, sorry.  But, if you have a march for peace, I will lead.”   We have our focus on the wrong thing.  We don't need to be fighting obesity with diets and bariatric surgery.  We need to look at food manufactures that fill our foods with addictive additives to keep us buying their products.  We need to look a the "diet industry" and uncover the scam they have inflicted on this country for the last 50 years! We need to raise the self esteem of our children and teach them that their inner strength is what makes them who they are.  We need to teach them how to listen to their bodies, and connect with the innate wisdom that we were all born with.  It is time to stop the war!  We have to do it for all the little girls (and boys) out there who are learning to only define themselves by their body image and what that creates in their lives.  This is a serious and complex problem.

Okay, I am getting off my soapbox.  I realize that the only person I can really change is me and that is where I am starting.  I must be the change I want to see.  And, that's enough for today.

Life with Pie - Forget Dieting!

This past weekend I heard some advice given about dieting by an older woman that has spent most of her life as a slender person.  She suggested the way to eat - “If you like fried chicken, eat it a couple of times a month, not every day.  Eat fruit pie or lemon meringue instead of cheesecake, and take smaller servings.”

It made me smile.  But, also made me start thinking about how naturally slender people think.  It is not about depravation, it’s about making conscious choices. It would seem that she has no issues with binge eating or trigger foods.  She has food in a proper perspective.  And her recommendation makes perfect sense to other people like her, but not to a compulsive or binge eater or chronic, life long dieter.

To the compulsive/binge eater and dieter it’s not really about the food, it’s about the power the food holds.  Somewhere, somehow food has taken on a bigger meaning. Good food, bad food. Also attached to the food are lots of emotions - eating to numb out pain, eating over loneliness, eating to bury old hurtful memories, eating for boredom, sadness, reward, frustration, you name it!  And, the big one -- eating as a replacement for love.

Oh, how wonderful it would be to just see food as nutrition, something to enjoy.  It is a big undertaking for lots of people to move into that space.  But there is something I have learned over the past few years and that is about change.  Sometimes the power that we have attached to food has shifted and we are unable to see the shift so we continue to repeat the old behaviors with food.  That’s because the behavior has become as familiar as driving a car.  We do it without any conscious thought - automatic pilot.  That happened to me.  I realized that my patterns of living were built around my food addiction.  It didn’t start out that way, but after years of the cycle it just became a habit.  With lots of therapy, self help books, retreats and workshops, not to mention thousands of pages of journaling, I have worked through most of the painful stuff in my life.  However, the patterns I have around eating have been habitually engrained in my life. I see myself continuing the eating behaviors without the trigger.  I have become conditioned to be an over eater.

In order to find my way to a healthy relationship with food, I don’t have to change the food.  I have to change my habits in relationship to food and eating.  This is big stuff!  And that’s a topic for another post!   More on this topic to come!